


The Boy

by Girlwithgoggles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Childhood Friends, Emotionally Repressed Dean, First Love, M/M, Melancholy, Old Friends, forgotten memoried, narrator - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-07-18
Packaged: 2018-04-09 22:23:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4366436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Girlwithgoggles/pseuds/Girlwithgoggles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean doesn't remember, but when he was 10 years old, at one of the countless schools he attended, he met a boy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Boy

**Author's Note:**

> Okay Okay Okay Please read the notes first!!
> 
> I know this fic is kinda problematic, since Jimmy is older, and he has a wife or whatever… 
> 
> But I was thinking for a while what would have happened if Dean had known Jimmy before Castiel took over… The result? Sad…  
> (I kinda just wanted to post something, and this has been floating around on my screen for far to long)  
> Okay read!!

Dean doesn't remember, but when he was 10 years old, at one of the countless schools he attended, he met a boy.

Being 10 and keeping his families secret, while knowing he was going to be moving in a couple months time was hard for such a young boy and Dean had promised himself that he wouldn't make any friends, for simplicities sake. 

However, after the first day of his new school, where he had tried to stick up for a boy on the playground, to a rather violent sixth grader, Dean had found himself sitting in the office with a bloody nose and a buddy to wait with him. 

Apparently this was a thing they did at this school because when Dean had stood from the fight, blood dripping from his nose, all the teacher had said was, "Take a buddy." 

The boy sitting next to Dean didn't say anything, but he looked at Dean every now and then and when Dean was just about fed up with the solo tennis game the boy seemed to be playing, he spoke.

He thanked Dean for saving him and said that he would put glue in the sixth grade boys sandwich once Dean was gone. And after that day, Dean found it sort of hard to stick to his initial rule.

His new friends name was Jimmy.

They didn't run around and scream and chased girls like all the other boys did. Dean and his new friend weren't like that. Dean thought blatantly that he would never be like that. They would sit quietly in the corner, drawing or playing board games and just enjoying each others company.

After he left that school he felt different; a little angrier he supposed. Jimmy had been a good thing, the one good thing in his life apart from Sam that he had had in a couple years, and it was gone and never coming back. Those months probably would have been Dean's best memories of school, if he hadn't suppressed them until they were nothing but hazy dreams in the back of his subconscious.

Dean played sports with the other boys, he chased the girls and he screamed and ran as the girls chased him back. He became what a normal boy his age should be because what he had with that boy at a school long since passed was special, and he never wanted it with anyone else. 

He dated and kissed and sloppily made out with dozens of girls to forget the feeling the boy used to give him when he touched his hand slightly when grabbing a pen or a chess piece, or on rare occasions, like the last day they had together, Jimmy pulling him into a tight hug.

Dean would miss that feeling all through middle school and then around grade nine, it would be chased away and forced into the garbage collecting in Dean's mind. And by the time grade twelve was thankfully over, Dean got that feeling from countless other females in his grade.

He couldn't remember the boys name by then and it had still taken him years to forget his touch. But he had in the end. And when he started hunting full time he even forgot everything else about all those countless girls and faces from the past. They were gone in time and Dean only ever moved forward now.

So; when Dean stood in the old abandon barn, covered in demon traps and sigils galore, gun poised at the ready and father figure faithfully at his side, he didn't think twice before unloading a couple rounds into the man walking forward into the barn, making the lights pop and go out.

Dean would never dig that face out of his brain to study it, because somewhere in that mass of twisted emotions and concealed thoughts, that face was comfortably burning a hole into his heart.

Dean would never realize that Castiel: Angel of the Lord, had taken the body of the boy Dean had befriended many years ago, because he didn't want to. It was like the smoke and ash in Dean's brain was shrouding the facts; because they were right there. The crazy brown hair and those bright blue eyes that Dean used to love to look at. Now when Dean looked into the angels eyes all he could see was the age behind them and the knowledge they held.

Perhaps his subconscious was trying to pry the memories up and shove little bits of them into Dean's mind, because on certain occasions, rare moments, Dean found himself feeling the same as he had back then, before his mind had forgotten he'd even felt them to begin with. 

Even when Castiel had told Dean his vessel was a man named Jimmy Novak, Dean didn't bat an eye. Castiel, despite the fact that he was wearing the man's body as a vessel, did not act nor sound like Jimmy at all. 

But the touches were the same as they were before, although now Dean attributed the sparking feeling to the heavenly power radiating from Castiel's very fingers. It didn't mean he didn't like them however and when they occurred, Dean felt the same jump in his chest as he had before.

Dean doesn't remember, and he never will because he has blocked those memories from his mind. He had pushed then to the side along with all his one night stands and his hundreds of hunts. Not because those memories hadn't been special at the time, per say; but if he kept them in a place that could be found, dug up somehow… well… he's not sure how he would react.

So Dean keeps going, without knowing the key reason he was slowly falling for the angel that had pulled him from hell, was because he was inhabiting the boy Dean first fell in love with.


End file.
